Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
