If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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