that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
