Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
