I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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