After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
