i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
