And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
