so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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