hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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