I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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