Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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