You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
