It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize