maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
