can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
