i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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