may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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