Your face is a jimmy john
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize