Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
