it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
