soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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