i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
