this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
