I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just gargled with NyQuil
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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