if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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