My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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