summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
