Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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