My cat gives me a boner
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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