I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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