the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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