apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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