the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's blow job season.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
