I just made out with a guy for $7.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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