Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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