having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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