it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
