Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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