I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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