I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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