I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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