She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
