Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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