There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
