so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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