the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Randomize
