Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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