I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
