You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
