By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
