They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
