I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize