I can tuck mytits in my pants
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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