I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
