Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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