I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
