Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
