question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
