I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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