Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
