Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
