I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
